The pinnacle of my lame attempts to handle two on my own was last week when I was trying to herd Caleb with my foot while holding Lucy. He started running for the kitchen (and if you haven't seen him lately, he is a fast runner) and I stuck out my foot trying to stop him, but I didn't get it quite high enough and I ended up tripping him, causing him to face plant onto our hard wood kitchen floor.
I didn't think it was that big of a bump. It wasn't that loud but he cried for a long time. I put Lucy down, gave him a hug and kissed his head followed by a very positive "all better" which usually works with him. He is surprisingly tolerant of pain. I put him down and he kept sobbing for a few minutes and saying "all better" as he walked down the hall, trying to convince himself, maybe, that it was all better. I felt so bad. It is his first goose-egg.
This was my biggest worry about having two kids close together. I knew it would be easy to pay lots of attention to new born, but I was worried that Caleb would feel left out. He has noticed the difference and has definitely been acting more whiny, but it is just with Adam and myself. He acts very loving towards Lucy and is good with other people (thank goodness). But if there are any suggestions on how to help a little boy learn how to not be the center of the universe without scarring him terribly, I would appreciate it.
4 comments:
Oh, Lara, I feel for you, I really do. I don't really know either of your kids and their temperaments, but Ava had a really hard time in the beginning with the lack of attention she was used to.
I realized that while the baby is still so little and pretty much unaware, I really tried to focus more on Ava, since I could tell the transition was taking it toll. The baby can cry in the crib and be safe, albeit a little unhappy if necessary, but your toddler totally knows what's going on. I hope that makes sense, and I don't give you the impression that I ignored my newborn (cause I didn't). But I tried my best while the new baby was still really new, to add on tons of love and attention before the baby would get big enough to be more demanding and need more watching. Really hope that makes sense. And good luck to you, I'm sure you're doing great!
Lara you are doing a great job! There is a bigger gab between J and the twins,but J still needs mom time.
So even though it is so tempting to spend 30 minutes in the shower then sit and read a magazine when the babies are sleeping......I try to take the time to play a game with J and spend some one on one time with him. Sorry I don't have any great advice for you, but you will figure it out.
Lara, I am not too worried about your kids turning out all weird because of mother neglect. Although it may feel over whelming now, imagine how you'll feel when you have your 5th or 6th... this second child will be a piece of cake compared to that.
Lara, don't worry. You are doing wonderful. I'm no expert, or anything, but It really is tricky taking care of two little ones. As they get older they can help out more, are more independent and do things for themselves. So don't worry. This is the hardest time. I think just as long as you are making an effort to spend some special time with Caleb, he'll feel that he's still important and special. I guess also, I would just add that anything you can involve him in as far as helping with the baby, like singing to her, or holding her will (with your help) or picking out clothes for her to wear with you, will help him feel like he's mommy's big helper, and not in the way, or forgotten. That's my two cents, for what it's worth. If there's one thing about parenting I've learned, it just involved A LOT of trial and error, figuring things out. Don't worry--because I'm sure you're doing awesome.
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