Friday, January 23, 2009

The Real World of Wife-hood

I have been very lucky up to this point. In my married life, Adam has been a student, which doesn't make me lucky. What makes me lucky is that he has had a lot of time to be home, ideally doing homework, but mostly spending time with us. Us being my lucky self and our two kiddies.

This new semester has brought him a lot more responsibilities and a lot less time here with me.

So, I have had to suck in my pouting bottom lip, and "put my shoulder to the wheel" of carrying the two baby load alone for most of the day, most of the week. Thus, I join the ranks of those real wives who have husbands gone all day. My mother says that she remembers a time with her home full of little, loud, whiny, messy, children when she felt like she had to really make an effort to "keep her head above water" as she put it. I've gotten a little taste of that feeling lately.

My solution, party! Our friends motto on their blog is "perfecting the fine art of having fun." So, in moments of frustration or tiredness, I play with my kids. I don't worry about the dishes, or the laundry, or any other mess in the house. Sometimes Baylub helps me clean. But, we mostly play and that seems to make things go better for everyone. I'll keep you posted if this method continues to work.



We do miss our Adam. He is my knight in shining armor going out to conquer the dragon of school and work. He's a tough guy. He's "Rambo." I'm so glad I married Rambo.


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is a hard world huh? Sometimes (a lot of times) I get down on how MUCH I have to do for the kids, the husband and my house - and I can't keep up...and then I compare it to what the husband does and I feel like I'm the keeper of everything. I need to remind myself like you to take time and just play with the kids and forget the dishes....:)

Anonymous said...

it felt like that post was word for word what I have been thinking, feeling, experiencing... We will have to help each other through this! The 8AM-8PM schedule we are dealing with is anything but EASY on us. And I hear ya, more forgetting the dishes. Brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Life only gets more difficult right? Now that I'm an adult with responsibility I often chide myself for not enjoying my youth enough!

It's a bit of a shock to have those roles so clearly marked when a husbands work is so time consuming and they are not home much. Chase kisses the kids before leaving early in the morning and kisses them goodnight when they have already gone to sleep. My mom prepared me for this adjustment with a long wise talk before moving to NC. She really put into perspective our two roles and the importance we as women have of supporting our husbands. Providing for a family is stressful and hard and we often don't express enough gratitude. Chase would rather be home more I know! It is also good toremember that success in the working world will also provide opportunities to build the kingdom. I am so grateful for a hard working husband who supports me in the motherhood role.

Anonymous said...

Lara, you are doing a wonderful job as wife and mother, I have no doubt. You are keeping in sight what is most important. You two make a wonderful team!! I love ya!

Anonymous said...

I feel like more often than not, I am just keeping my head above water. And sometimes, I spend a lot of time under water, and come up for air when absolutely necessary. It's tough, but I think you have a good approach. I should try that more. The dishes will always be there, right? But soon enough the little ones won't.

Anonymous said...

You're a rock star Lara!!! And a rockin' mama!